Monthly Archives: August 2013

Something No Comic Wants to Think About

I think if I were a comedian I would have to bring a disinfectant wipe up to stage with me to wipe down the mic before I could feel comfortable holding it. There’s nowhere that mic hasn’t been.  I have seen comedians rub the Mic in their unwashed hair, put it in their mouths, rub it in their arm pits or crotches, and sometimes hold it to their butts to hear an alleged fart. Some comics spit when they talk. It’s been dropped on the floor and left on the beer soaked front row table. Comics have been drinking and smoking all manner of things and breathing that offensive breath into that poor mic. Not to mention the filthy words that microphone has had pass through it. And their hands! Are they joking when they say they masturbate before they come on stage? Do they wash their hands before taking hold of the microphone?

I would be more tempted to try stand up comedy if it weren’t for the mic.

Fun Thing: Grow Your Own Avocado Tree

Do you have an avocado and too much time on your hands? If so, why not grow your own avocado tree? It’s not exactly fun, or particularly useful, but it is something that you can blog about when you don’t have anything real to contribute! Yay!

  1. Find an avocado. Remove the pit and wash it thoroughly. Use the avocado to make guacamole, or, if you don’t mind me saying so, perhaps a face mask? Let’s be real, all the avocado trees in the world won’t land you a comedy husband if you don’t do something about that flakey skin.pit_small Continue reading