I love short summer dresses, and I love summer cycling, but put these two things together and you’ve got a disaster! Riding a bike in a dress sometimes means doing that awkward jig where you’re constantly pulling down your skirt as far as it will go, all the while trying not to weave into traffic as you hide a peek at your underwear from curious perverts and randoms clutching their pearls.
Well, worry no more! Biking in a short dress or skirt will never the the same thanks to ladies bicycle shorts! (Not to be confused with actual bicycle shorts, which is a whole other thing.)
Ladies bicycle shorts are the shorts you wear under your dress or skirt, effectively blocking any actual views of your underwear. Because as we all know, the sight of a bit of underwear fabric can burn a person’s eyes right out of their sockets, turn innocent children to drugs, and lure packs of feral beasts from the wild. It’s dangerous stuff, I don’t know why we don’t all just wear pants and join the nunneries.
Ladies bicycle shorts mean that you will no longer get that look from men walking along the bike path. You know, those creepy dudes that will look you directly in the eye, their faces pulling a slimy smirk, as if to say, “You know what I’ve seen, and I know you know I won’t ever un-see what I have seen. Could be I’ve seen a hint underwear for like a second. We both know that’s going to make as big a difference to your life as it has made to mine.”
I’ve seen everything!
Ladies bicycle shorts remain out of sight when you are not on your bicycle, since they are shorter than your dress. Then, when you get on your bixi or bike, you hitch your dress up to show off your short shorts underneath, because for some reason even the shortest pair of shorts is more acceptable to passers by than the potential of a flash of underwear.
So pull up those dresses ladies, and show the world that there’s nothing to see here!
Added benefits of the ladies’ bicycle shorts include relief from the dreaded summer thigh rub. If you don’t happen to have a thigh gap, you’ll know what I’m talking about.