How to Get Ready for the Just For Laughs Festival, a Comedy Wives guide

One of the biggest and most exciting comedy festivals in the world is upon us. For comedy wives, comedy fans, comedy girlfriends, and local comedians, this is an exciting time of year. You may get the chance of being reduced to a quivering pile of goo when faced with your idols, several opportunities to be ignored by your friends, the possibility of ducking out of a party early only to realize that it is already well past sunrise, and finally, the pleasure of eating every meal from an overpriced but delicious food truck. This festival has something for everyone.victor

While the Just For Laughs Festival has already officially started – go see The Nasty Show with local hottie Derek Seguin – and the fun outdoor stuff is all set up and hopping, a lot of the heavy-hitters don’t come to town until next weekend, so we still have a few days to get ourselves ready for the onslaught of awesome. This is how the comedy wives are preparing:

1 – Wash your unmentionables

You know how your mother always told you to make sure you had clean underwear when you left the house in case the firemen had to see them? Well this time it’s world-class comedians and the fire is in your pants! Wash your best undergarments ladies and gents, and while you’re at it, pick out some nice outfits for yourself and make sure they’re clean.

If you have a comedy husband or comedy wife, wash their show shirts, won’t they love you for it? – Do this even if your comedy husband or wife is not in the festival, you never know when opportunity might strike, like local hero Heidi Foss getting a last minute spot on the Chevy Chase Gala! – If you are a comedian, wash your show shirts, dry clean your suits, and buy some extra socks. You can’t have too many socks.

Victor's has a fat ass, like me
Victor doesn’t need to do laundry, because he’s naked

2 – Treat yourself to some you time (optional: treat your cat to some cat time)

An unstoppable train of fun and insanity is barreling down on you and there will be nothing you can do once it’s here, so book your massage, take a yoga class, do whatever you need to do to clear your head now so you can handle all the crowds, all the shows, and all the parties, next week. Also your cat won’t see much of you for a while, so give him some extra cuddles, he loves you.

3 – Weed your garden.

there will be so many comedians flying in from all over the world, crossing all kinds of borders, to put on incredible shows for our enjoyment. With all this action you may find yourself too busy to buy your pot, I mean tend your plot. So get your weeds now, before all the craziness begins. If you happen to have some loose roll-out sod laying around your lawn, this might be a good time to roll your grass.

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4 – Speaking of lawns….

Book that wax appointment! Get rid of that flaking nail polish. Ladies, you know what to do. Gentlemen, you should also trim your beards. And get a haircut, you all need a haircut, you dirty, dirty hipsters! (Does this make me sound old? If so I’m OK with it.)

5 – Catch up with your online friends

If you have an extra couple minutes this week, go through your facebook friends to give yourself a quick refresher course on names you should know. Because, guess what? You’re going to see a whole lot of friends next week! Won’t it be nice when you don’t have to greet them awkwardly with a “heeeeeyyy?”

Who are these people?
Victor right? The green guy’s name is Victor?

Well that’s how we’re getting ready anyway. Comedy wives, I’ll see you at the fest! Comedians, we’ll talk again after this mess is over. Burgeoning comedy wives, go forth and get laid!

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