You’d think that by now there’d be some things about Christmas preparations that I’d have down. Me the long time Mom, Santa’s helper and list maker. But another Christmas has come and gone, and again I found myself running around, stressed, wrapping presents at one am after a few too many “hard” eggnogs.
So this New Year’s I’m writing myself a letter, to be opened November 15, 2014. Next Christmas I will heed my own warnings (I hope).
I hope you are sober when you’re reading this. If not … just finish your eggnog, go to bed and read me in the morning.
Good morning! Pour yourself a cup of coffee. You will be tempted to leave everything till the last minute. After the dust has settled from your daughter Kayleigh’s 18th birthday party at the beginning of December, shake the glitter off and get organised.
How? Make a list and check it twice, and don’t buy anything else. Every year you end up with three presents for one of your nephews and only one each for the others. Teen boys are hard to buy for, and their parents frown upon your SAQ gift cards.
Congratulations, you bought your presents! Don’t shove them in the closet, wrap them immediately … unless it is midnight and you’ve gotten into the eggnog. Seriously, put the wrapping paper down, oh ok, do your thing. Just please remember that you should not use the cutting edge of the scissors against your thumb to curl the ribbon.
In the morning, don’t think that the place has been robbed when you see the mess you left. You always end up wrapping presents until one am and are then too tired to pack everything back up.
Don’t be surprised that the cat has destroyed half of the wrapping you did when you were up ’til one am and were too tired to pack away the presents you wrapped with elaborate bows and curled ribbons
Usually if you were still up at 1:00 am you have had time to drink more than a few eggnogs you may have thought it would be a good idea to write your Christmas Cards. It probably wasn’t. Find those cards. Read them. Throw them away and write new cards.
Lastly, why do you think that the hiding place you’ve thought of for your kids presents is one that they won’t think of? Do Like Arnold and bring them to the office.
Oh, and remember to check the expiry date on the eggnog. No, the chunks are not from the Rum coagulating the dairy.
I love you, you crazy lady,