Something No Comic Wants to Think About

I think if I were a comedian I would have to bring a disinfectant wipe up to stage with me to wipe down the mic before I could feel comfortable holding it. There’s nowhere that mic hasn’t been.  I have seen comedians rub the Mic in their unwashed hair, put it in their mouths, rub it in their arm pits or crotches, and sometimes hold it to their butts to hear an alleged fart. Some comics spit when they talk. It’s been dropped on the floor and left on the beer soaked front row table. Comics have been drinking and smoking all manner of things and breathing that offensive breath into that poor mic. Not to mention the filthy words that microphone has had pass through it. And their hands! Are they joking when they say they masturbate before they come on stage? Do they wash their hands before taking hold of the microphone?

I would be more tempted to try stand up comedy if it weren’t for the mic.

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